This is the picture of children in LRA.
To begin with, Kony will run away, if he knows that he became famous because he knows that they will try to catch him. So it will be harder to catch him because he will escape from the armies of many governments.
Moreover, he will stop kidnapping. This means that his crime will be decreased if he doesn't kidnap because there are a lot of other criminals, so him stop kidnapping can lighten his crimes. Later, when he is caught and someone figures out that is was his plan, but if he says "No, it was not", they have to believe him.
In addition, children will be more at danger because if he knows that he will be caught, he will train children more than before to protect himself. Also, he will make children hard to survive. So we have to do it secretly.
Finally, it can lead to a serious war. Because he has a big army, so we have to be careful. Also, if war happen, there will be a lot of dead. To make it more seriously, a lot of children will die. Children are hopes of the world, so
war cannot happen. In addition, children will be well trained, so it can result to a big war.
Next, I will prove my opinions is right by explaining about why the agreeing sides' reasons are wrong.
To start with, many people will help if they know about Joseph Kony. But it's not a good idea because 'Invisible Children' already has a lot of money, so they can use them for catch Joseph Kony. If they run out, then, they can get money from other people.
Furthermore, it can teach people about how to solve this problem when it happens. But if we do it secretly and inform it later, we can give bigger advices or morals. So I think it is better idea.
So I strongly disagree about making Joseph Kony famous for 6 reasons and they are about escaping, crime, children, war, money, and advices. So we have to stop the video from spreading because this hasto be secret to make children safe, for the peace, and make him get huge punishments. So we have to capture Joseph Kony, however, it has to be a secret for making out team beneficial in fighting. So I strongly disagree about making Joseph Kony famous.
And this is the video called 'Kony 2012'.
I like the structure of you essay about Kony. You clearly have both an introduction and a conclusion. You have strong reasons to back up your stance and you have also allotted few paragraphs to undermine the opposite side's arguments. Truly a great argumentative essay!
ReplyDeleteOne little suggestion, you've written down 6 reasons to back up your thesis. Why don't you combine two or three reasons to make a stronger argument?
For example, your first two reasons are that Kony could run away and also he could lighten his crimes before getting caught. These two could be added to become a single strong argument that 'Kony would find ways to get away from his evil deeds.'
Having six reasons can seem too much. it might make your essay seem too complex and complicated! Good luck!
DeleteOK. When I writing argumentative essay, I will try to fix them.
DeleteThe essay is very well-written and supported with pictures and video. The intro/conclusion are well-done. I agree that you should combine your reasons to make a stronger case. The reason about Kony will stop kidnapping is not a strong reason to support your case.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work!
Thank you for good advice. I will try to fix them.
Delete